She who’s no more,

To her,

I know it has been just a while since you left but it feels like a decade has been gone by. I wish you were here. Because I miss you. I really do. Sometimes more than I should. I really wish the car crash never happened. But it did. And now I can do nothing about it. I can’t bring you back.

Do you remember the time when you asked me what if one of us dies? I told you to stop being stupid and shut up. Now that I think of it, I guess I was too afraid to answer your question. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. You were special. You were a part of my life. You still are. 

And I don’t want to cry when I think of you, so I try to recollect the crappy things we’ve done together. The bitching stuff, running like madmen, shouting on the top of our voices, making fun of people, giving lame advises to classmates, everything. Everything was so much fun with you.   We binge-watched f.r.i.e.n.d.s together. You know how we cried while watching the last episode. You made me cry even more when you said it was the only good thing in our lives. To be honest, you were the only good thing in MY life. 

You were always a cry baby. You just couldn’t handle break ups. Maybe because you cared way too much for the people in your life. That’s what made you different. You didn’t easily give up on relationships. You knew how to forgive. That’s something that I never possessed.

You made me a better person somehow. You gave me strength. You made me realise that you were as stupid as I was. I was not the only one. But now that you’re gone, it’s just me and my stupidity. I just want you to know that I love you. I always did. And I always will. No matter what. I may have other friends but no one could ever replace you. Because you’re unique. And special. Keep loving me like you always have. 

– Your soul sister 

Dear Shahrukh, 

Dear Shahrukh, 
Thank you. Thank you so much for making my day. I saw you. And now, I can finally cross this off my bucket list. I know I have done my share of screaming and crying (I never cry, though), I still can’t get over the fact that I saw you. You were right there, right in front of me. I had gone berserk. 

I know a lot of people have probably seen you before. And it’s not a big deal for Mumbaikars and all. But, it meant a lot to me. To be honest, I felt infinite at that moment. I really did. 

To all those who’ve ever said you’re old and wrinkled, you’re NOT. You’re charming as hell. You’re so damn hot. And that wide grin on your face, it killed me. It really did. I’m stuck in a traffic for like half an hour now. I have done a hell lot of crying. But still, I’m so damn happy. I bought a T shirt from Linking Road without even bargaining. Now you know how happy I am.

You’re The King Of Romance, The King Khan, The Badshah. But for me, you’re the wittiest man with the most perfect dimples. You’re so amazing. You’re the man who is capable of being nice and sarcastic at the same time.

How do you do it, Sir? How do you do it? 

I fell in love with you as a kid, I still love you as a 17 year old teen, and will always do. Even in my eighties when I’m all toothless and hairless. I really will. 

Lots of love,

Your true Fangirl

Another year in India

Day 1 of 2017 – I went out with my friends to celebrate my birthday at a club on the crowded streets of our Metropolitan city. We drank, we danced, we sang and then we walked home safe. Surprising, no guy along the way, stared at us or teased us or touched us. And yes, we were wearing short dresses.
Day 2 of 2017 – I got off late from work. It was probably around 11:20 at night. My phone was dead. I had no option so I took a cab. The driver stopped the cab in the middle of the road and told me there was some problem with the vehicle. He called someone and asked him to come. I was standing in the middle of some street with an unknown guy and was frightened as hell. He told me not to worry as he had arranged another cab for me. The other cab driver dropped me home safely.
Day 3 of 2017 – I went to watch a movie at a male friend’s place. After the movie got over, we had a few drinks. My friend asked his other male friends to come over. When they came, we talked a bit and had more drinks. I don’t know what happened after that. I wasn’t in my senses, I guess. All I know is that I woke up next morning in my friend’s bedroom, but alone. All the guys slept in the hall. Actually, on top of one another.
Day 4 of 2017 – I was travelling in a local train at night. There were all men in the train except me and other two women. The two ladies got off the train after 10 minutes. Now, I was the only woman in there. The next station was far away. My heart started beating faster for obvious reasons. I spent half an hour praying to God. When my station came, I got off immediately realising it wasn’t a big deal.
Day 5 of 2017 – I was walking on the streets of my conservative neighbourhood in shorts and a sleeveless top. The neighbourhood aunties didn’t stare at me. They didn’t comment on me or on my clothing. The neighbourhood boys who used to call me names didn’t call me a slut or a whore. They didn’t abuse me or tease me. I could see everybody smiling and minding their own business.
I was never introduced to this world. A world where women walk freely without fear and are not groped or touched inappropriately by miscreants, a world where women are treated as humans, a world where women enjoy themselves and live a happy life. I want each day of my life to be like these five days. 

#feminism #mystory #freewomen #mentality #rapeculture #betterworld